Phlegm

He didn't know what was wrong with him, but he was producing a lot of phlegm. It had been going on for weeks and he now had a bucket next to his armchair to spit in while he sat and watched TV.
He heard the glass in the back door smash and heard someone reach in and undo the bolt. The door creaked open.
He sat in his chair, frozen.
There were footsteps through the kitchen and into the living room.
The would-be burglar tripped over the bucket and several litres of green paste spilled on to the carpet, sticking his foot to the pile.
"What the?"
The intruder vomited as the man stood and reached for the phone.