Cancellation

"I want to cancel my subscription."
"Why?"
"What does it matter why? I just want to cancel it."
"I need to put a reason in the system to proceed."
"Fine. I don't like your magazine any more."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"So can I cancel it then?"
"No, I'm afraid not."
"Why?"
"You don't fulfil the criteria."
"Criteria? What criteria? The only one that matters is I don't want to read your bloody magazine ever again."
"Are you still alive?"
"What? Of course I am. How else would I be talking to you?"
"There's no way out."
The line went dead.