Sheets

The bed needed changing.
It was a job that he hated. Doing it alone was too much of a chore which was why he had left it so long, but now it could be left no longer.
He huffed and puffed.
The woman in World of Sleep watched as the man struggled in through the front door with a fully-assembled bed under his arm.

Departure

"Wait."
It was in vain. She was gone.

575

I don't get haikus.
Or should that just be haiku?
What is the plural?

Romance

"I love you," he said.
There was no reply and he was quite hurt by it.
Still, it wasn't exactly surprising that the sentiment wasn't reciprocated vocally.
He winked at himself in the mirror.

Missing

The poster on the telegraph pole said the cat was missing.
Cats are never missing. Nobody is a cat's master.
What the person who believed themselves to be the cat's owner didn't know was that their cat had gone. For good.
It had parted its fur differently, got some fake travel documents and was now living in Brazil.

Day Off

She needed a day off. Needed was pushing it a little perhaps, but she felt almost worn out from the demands of work.
She would take a sick day.
She knew she was hopeless at lying and even more hopeless at doing a fake 'I'm really ill' voice.
She phoned her boss and decided to play it by ear.
"I won't be in today."
"Why not?"
"I've been involved in an accident and I'm having my leg amputated."
"Oh. Let me know what happens."
She put the phone down.
How was she going to get out of this?
She spent most of her day off looking for another job.

Cardigan

It was cold enough to wear his favourite cardigan.
He always felt good when he wore it. It was as if it somehow improved his life, like it was magic in some way.
Later in the bank there was an incident.
A man in a ski mask burst in waving a gun around, demanding his bag be stuffed full of non-sequential, high denomination notes.
Was someone going to be a hero?
No.
He raced out of the bank with the bag full of cash, got in his car and removed his ski mask.
The cardigan still felt good.

Cold Lake

The lake was popular during the summer.
Boaters, windsurfers and general messingabouters splashed around in every which direction.
Nobody swam in it after dark though.
Even in the middle of August it was too cold.
Ever since that young boy had disappeared nobody had swum there at night.
The beast deep below the surface was growing hungry again.

Zoo

"Oh my God!"
There were screams from many of those who were watching.
The child had fallen into the water and was being scooped out by a gorilla.
Those assembled watched in horror as the gorilla cuddled the child and ran across the enclosure.
"Daddy loves you," shouted his father - doubtlessly of no consolation whatsoever to the panicked child.
A man with a rifle arrived.
"Are you the chld's parents?" he asked.
"Yes," they both said simultaneously.
The man raised the rifle and shot them both between the eyes.

Toast

The bread sat in the toaster, warming and browning as he made a cup of coffee at the other end of the kitchen.
POP!
The toast flew out of the machine and he turned around hoping to see it having landed on his carefully-positioned plate.
There was nothing there.
He looked on the floor under the table , behind the bread bin and even on top of the cupboard. It was nowhere to be seen.

Pee

He had been dying for the toilet for at least two hours, but there had been nowhere to stop.
Now he'd reached the service station and he had to contend with the fact that it felt like someone had swapped his legs for those of a cripple as he staggered across the car park.
His bladder felt like a space hopper and he raced into the toilet, almost putting the wooden door straight through the badly-tiled wall as he entered.
He tore down his zip and stood ready.
He was ready.
Come on, I'm ready.
Nothing happened.
He felt like he might burst, but he couldn't pee.
He was still standing there five hours later when the attendant came in to tell him he was locking the toilet for the night.
He went back to his car, still ready to burst.

Directions

"Excuse me," the motorist shouted as he wound down his window, "is this the way to the place of historical interest?"
"Yes," replied the man on the path.
It wasn't.
The motorist drove away destined never to find it.

Hill

She lived at the top of the hill and could see every other house in the village from there.
Nobody could have any secrets as she watched them all through her telescope.
They knew they were being watched, but didn't care.
She didn't know she was being watched from even further away, a dossier being kept of her every move. They were metaphorically painting a target on her back and she was clueless.

Insurance

"Damn cold callers!" he yelled as he slammed down the phone.
It was the fourth time today.
The phone rang again almost immediately. He picked up the receiver.
"What?"
"We would like to offer you the deal of a lifetime."
"No thanks."
He couldn't move the phone. It was as if it were stuck to his ear. He was forced to listen to the whole spiel.
Surprisingly for him he found their deal to be indeed that of a lifetime and he signed up for it, not knowing that someone in the Channel Islands was draining his bank account as he spoke.

Save

He had typed for almost two hours. The story he had written in that time was arguably his greatest yet.
His laptop battery was running low, so he decided to save his work. He would resume writing back at the hotel.
He clicked on the save icon.
ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DELETE THIS DOCUMENT? Y/N
What?
He clicked no.
DOCUMENT DELETED
"No!"
He looked in the deleted items folder. Nothing.
His story was gone. He would attempt to recreate it later, but it would never be anywhere near as good.

Hawk

The hawk soared above them.
They hid in the long grass thinking they'd outsmarted him.
How foolish.
They survived because he let them.
Tomorrow would be different.

Slugs

They were everywhere. The garden was like a sea of brown. It pulsated and moved in a sickening way.
He daren't go outside.
He poured petrol from the upstairs window over as much of the garden as he could reach. He lit a match and dropped it.
WOOF!
He was certain he could hear ten thousand slugs scream as they burned and filled the night air with a pungent stench.

Not Much Time

I hate being late, but sometimes it can't be avoided.
There's only seven minutes until it starts and I'm not ready.
Frantic doesn't even begin to describe it. I'll have to leave my jobs for afterwards, if I make it to afterwards.
The hatch is opening.
Now it begins.

Cell

He woke up with a pounding head.
The room he was in was unfamiliar. He was stretched out on a very thin, uncomfortable single bed.
He felt like he wanted to vomit. It was handy there was a toilet and basin in the corner of the room. He took advantage of this.
He was brought breakfast which he also found difficult to keep down.
How had he ended up there? What had he done?
He was never drinking again.

Weapons

He was looking for his Christmas presents as he did every year.
His parents must have been on to him as they changed the hiding place every year, but now he'd found an interesting box. Interesting in that it was quite heavy and presumably contained a massive present for him.
It was on the top shelf of his father's wardrobe, hidden behind a pile of polo shirts and a couple of jumpers he never wore.
He placed it on the floor and opened it.
It was full of guns. There were seven in total. He took them all out and lined them up on the carpet.
He picked one up and pointed it at the mirror.
"Bang, bang!" he said and laughed.
He put it and the others back in the box, returned it to its wardrobe hiding place and resumed his Christmas gift hunt.

Board

Not a 6, 8 or 9, he pleaded inside his head as he shook the dice.
He threw them over the board and wasn't surprised to see a 4 and a 2 . He knew that 6 was statistically quite likely, but that didn't sweeten what was about to happen.
He picked up the metal car and tapped the squares from Just Visiting.
"Marlborough Street!" his brother announced with great enthusiasm. "With a hotel!"
This was going to break him and the game would be over.
The excitement was too much for his brother who wet himself and returned to looking out of the window.
The game remained uncompleted for another hour while his brother was spoonfed soup by one of the carers.

Wrong

How could this happen?
They could demand a recount, but it was no use. The margin of victory was too great.
They were all shell-shocked.
The wrong person won and now they must live with the consequences.
He was going to ruin everything they'd worked so hard to build.
The good times were over.

Celebrity

"Who's that woman with the huge arse?"
"Are you talking about her behind or the man with her?"
"We'll say the behind."
"She's Kim Kardashian."
"And what's a Kim Kardashian?"
"She's famous for being rich and famous."
"That makes no sense."
"That's how it is these days, Grandpa."
"Bloody stupid."
"The man with her is Kanye West. He's her husband."
"He's got a stupid name."
"He's a rapper."
"One of those people who talk over someone else's music?"
"Err, yes, I guess so. He's very popular."
He tore the magazine out of her hands and tossed it across the room.
"All pointless," he raged.

Phones

She had forgotten her charger and now she sat on the train, her phone screaming at her that its battery was critically low.
Critically low?
Nobody was going to die or anything.
To her it was much worse than that.
It counted down its life in percentages.
5%, 4%, 3%, 2%, 1%.
The screen went black.
She felt overwhelmed by sadness. She slipped the phone into her handbag and looked at the real world for once.

Death

The funeral home was quiet. Unseasonably quiet. They hadn't had a stiff through the doors in over a week.
A new big-chain post-life solutions provider - that's what they called themselves - had opened on the other side of town and it was taking away all their business.
"What are we going to do?" asked his son.
"I don't know, it's killing us."
They both laughed although neither found the situation funny.

Travellers

Nobody saw them arrive as it happened during the night, but when everyone got up the next day there were four caravans on the green next to the church.
Locals were up in arms. Nobody wanted them there. Why weren't the council doing anything? There was going to be litter and excrement everywhere.
Letters were written to their local MP.
The travellers went about their day and ignored the shouts of "pikey" and "gypo" that came from the hateful residents.
Just as suddenly they were gone.
No rubbish had been left and there was no sign that they'd ever been there.
Apart from a package on the steps of the village hall. A card thanking them for their generosity in allowing them to stay there (very tongue in cheek) and a cake (homemade, very good, but nobody dared to eat any).
"I'm glad they're gone. Bastards," said one man.

Memory

"Whose round is it?" asked Don.
They were into double figures and it was starting to get foggy.
"I think it's mine," said Ray.
"I thought it was mine."
"You got them in that last place."
He hadn't.
"But you bought two in a row before that."
Not true either.
"Should we just get our own?" Ray suggested.
"Ok," Don replied, knowing that it went totally against the ethos of the rounds system they had always employed and that it would doubtlessly ruin their friendship.

Curry

"I'll just have something mild," she mused as she perused the menu.
She had a peculiar definition of mild as what she eventually ordered had three chili peppers next to it on the menu.
Nobody mentioned this.
When it arrived everyone waited for her to react in a negative way to the strength.
The waiter came and did the obligatory is-everything-ok? dance.
"No, it's not. I ordered what I thought was a mild curry..."
Now it was all going to kick off. The waiter arched an eyebrow.
"...but this is too mild. Have your chef put more spice in it."
The plate was whisked away and returned minutes later, stronger than before.
"Oh my God!" she declared as she took her first taste, her face reddening in cartoon fashion.
The waiter walked away, smiling to himself.

Lollipops

He had helped kids cross the road outside the school safely for years. Two generations of some families had got to school in one piece thanks to him.
He always smiled at the children and their parents. He was known to whistle and sing too - one of those truly happy in their work.
And now he was suspended.
All because some idiot motorist who'd had to wait a few seconds longer than he deemed necessary had posted that thing on Facebook alleging he had done things with a kid once.
It wasn't true at all, but it had to be investigated.
His computer had been taken away by police and he felt dirty.
He knew that even once his name was cleared that the whole thing would follow him around like a bad smell for the rest of his life.
Why are people such bastards? he thought.

Bored

Why was there never anything to do?
Life in this town sucked.
All his friends were away and he had nobody to talk to.
And now he found himself in a derelict house with a can of petrol and a book of matches.

Dogwalkers

He knew of the dog owner rules when he bought his puppy.
When he saw another dogwalker in the park while he was walking his, he had to acknowledge them from afar like they were both owners of the same make of classic car meeting on a country lane and sharing a moment.
He knew that if he saw a fellow dogwalker walking their dog when he wasn't that he still had to greet them, but in a more casual way.
And he knew if he met a fellow dogwalker, but neither of them had their dogs with them that they were to ignore each other completely.
The politics were complicated.