It was only five minutes since she'd fallen asleep, wasn't it?
How was the alarm going off now?
It wasn't wrong though. It was time. Time to get up and spend 8 hours which felt like 12 doing something she hated.
Thursday, 15 December 2016
Tuesday, 13 December 2016
Dare
"I dare you."
"OK."
He jumped off the bridge and into the river an easy hundred feet below.
His friend looked down, waiting for him to surface, but couldn't see anything. In a panic he fled and went home.
A body was found beneath another bridge fifteen miles downstream a week later.
"OK."
He jumped off the bridge and into the river an easy hundred feet below.
His friend looked down, waiting for him to surface, but couldn't see anything. In a panic he fled and went home.
A body was found beneath another bridge fifteen miles downstream a week later.
Monday, 12 December 2016
Truth
"Have you ever stolen anything?"
"Only one thing, but it was a real humdinger."
"How so?"
"I was 15 and I was camping with some friends. It was cold in the tent and I wanted to go home in the middle of the night. I didn't want to cycle 20 miles and there were no buses so I needed an alternative form of transport."
"You stole a car?"
"No, I stole a combine harvester. Remember that time one was found abandoned in the rec?"
"Only one thing, but it was a real humdinger."
"How so?"
"I was 15 and I was camping with some friends. It was cold in the tent and I wanted to go home in the middle of the night. I didn't want to cycle 20 miles and there were no buses so I needed an alternative form of transport."
"You stole a car?"
"No, I stole a combine harvester. Remember that time one was found abandoned in the rec?"
Sunday, 11 December 2016
Saturday, 10 December 2016
Filing
She had been moved to a windowless office that was full of piles and piles of documents.
"File them all," her bastard of a boss had said.
The papers were in no particular order and dated back several decades. Surely nobody knew what was there and what wasn't?
She started sneaking piles of them out with her and ditching them. She felt like a prisoner who was digging a tunnel and went into the exercise yard to get rid of handfuls of dirt from their pockets. Except she was mostly just chucking everything in the bin outside Tesco.
Every cigarette break, coffee break, lunch break, trip to the post office and quick run down to her car because she "had forgotten something", a new pile of documents was binned.
The filing took two weeks.
"File them all," her bastard of a boss had said.
The papers were in no particular order and dated back several decades. Surely nobody knew what was there and what wasn't?
She started sneaking piles of them out with her and ditching them. She felt like a prisoner who was digging a tunnel and went into the exercise yard to get rid of handfuls of dirt from their pockets. Except she was mostly just chucking everything in the bin outside Tesco.
Every cigarette break, coffee break, lunch break, trip to the post office and quick run down to her car because she "had forgotten something", a new pile of documents was binned.
The filing took two weeks.
Friday, 9 December 2016
Cap
The man in the cap was watching them from the other side of the park.
They thought he was one of those paedos that their father had warned them about. They continued playing, but kept an eye on the man. He continued to look straight at them. He gave what sounded like a wolf whistle.
Creepy.
They decided to call the police. Clearly the man was a pervert and should be locked up.
The police arrived quickly, taking this kind of thing very seriously.
The man was shocked as he didn't see them coming. He was just standing and waiting for his guide dog to come back.
They thought he was one of those paedos that their father had warned them about. They continued playing, but kept an eye on the man. He continued to look straight at them. He gave what sounded like a wolf whistle.
Creepy.
They decided to call the police. Clearly the man was a pervert and should be locked up.
The police arrived quickly, taking this kind of thing very seriously.
The man was shocked as he didn't see them coming. He was just standing and waiting for his guide dog to come back.
Thursday, 8 December 2016
Germany
"I'm not going."
"Why not?"
"Because of the war."
"Which war? The one that ended over 70 years ago?"
When put like that it sounded a bit ridiculous.
"Ok then. Because of the football."
"That's just stupid. If you wouldn't go somewhere because you were beaten at football then there isn't a town in England we could go to."
"Alright then. What about all that carry on with the deckchairs?"
"You're crazy."
"I might be crazy, but I'm not going."
"Why not?"
"Because of the war."
"Which war? The one that ended over 70 years ago?"
When put like that it sounded a bit ridiculous.
"Ok then. Because of the football."
"That's just stupid. If you wouldn't go somewhere because you were beaten at football then there isn't a town in England we could go to."
"Alright then. What about all that carry on with the deckchairs?"
"You're crazy."
"I might be crazy, but I'm not going."
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