Draught

"I'll have a pint of Bollock Twister, please."
Why did these ales all have to have such bizarre names?
"That's gone off, I'm afraid. What would you like instead?"
The man looked along the pumps. He'd never heard of any of them, but he was very open to new beer.
"I'll try Bum Fister, please."
"That's off too."
"Tuppence Licker?"
"Off."
"Wand Thwacker?"
"Off."
"What have you got then?"
"I can do you a pint of Get out of My Fucking Pub, You Bastard."
The landlord stood and stared at him menacingly.